2024 Retrospective – DEV Community – Your Source for Real-Time News

How it started

The very end of 2023 was an earth-shattering moment for me. It was December 16, 2023 that I learned that my wife of two years – partner of six – was having an affair. In an instant my world came crumbling down; that feeling followed me into 2024 where I wondered where life would take me now.

I felt lost, insecure, and was questioning everything. What was I going to do? How could I ever move on? Where do I go?

I didn’t (and still don’t) have the money to move into an apartment by myself on Long Island where a studio apartment goes for $2,000.00/month which is just over 50% of my monthly take-home income.

I didn’t (and still don’t) have a remote job, so while friend’s graciously offered me rooms in their homes outside Albany, NY and Houston, TX, that wasn’t an option either.

So, I went to my parents and asked if I could move back in knowing full well there was not a room available in the house. Thankfully, they agreed to rent a storage unit to store their stuff in so I could claim a 120 sq. ft. bedroom for myself. Note, the storage unit is larger than my bedroom 😂

That’s a bleak onset of the year, but that’s life. I don’t tell you all of this so for your pity, but so you can see the massive turnaround one event had on me; that event was my first tech conference.

Entering the tech community

Some quick background: I have been studying web development on and off for several years. I started in late 2018/early 2019 and wandered from frontend web development —> IT Helpdesk work —> cloud engineering —> frontend web development/engineering ♻️. Through the years my discipline would come and go like waves upon a shore. While I joined Twitter (now X) in April 2018, I was not very active and more of a lurker.

However, in 2023 I won a ticket to attend THAT Conference in Round Rock, TX (outside Austin) which was from January 29, 2024 – January 31. Little did I know how impactful that one event would be.

I’ve written about THAT Conference on my blog before, and The Power of Community on my newsletter, but here is the number one thing THAT Conference did for me:

It gave me a place where I felt like I belonged once again. I hadn’t felt that since I was in the music education and performance community prior to 2018.

The people I met at THAT quickly became friends that I now cannot imagine my life without! Not only that but I truly believe that it is only because of these connections I was afforded and was able to succeed in the other opportunities I’ve had this year, including but not limited to:

All that to boot, I firmly believe my first job in tech will stem from the connections I have made and continue to make in the community.

Thank you to everyone that has shown me nothing but kindness, support, friendship, and more through this year. I would not have gotten through this year as well as I did without you all.

Leaning into me

Over the last 5 – 6 years I’ve started being more comfortable with who I am. That’s not to say I’ve settled and do not want to continue to improve, but instead of trying to be a version of myself others seem to want me to be I am leaning into being the version of myself I want to be.

In 2024 I leaned even more into this.

This might be obvious to some but for me it’s only come to light in recent years how much effort I was putting in to be a version of myself to appease others rather than myself. Through self-care including therapy, journaling, and meditation I am finally happy with some of the things I am doing and am celebrating all wins no matter the size . There is of course, room for improvement; for example, my physical health is in rough shape and has been an ongoing struggle for years but that is entirely in my control.

Worrying about only what you can control

This is an extension of my self-development, but I have really tried my hardest to only worry about only what I can directly control.

For example, a major push I made this year is making the effort to life others up. I have been a negative person for many years – living with my parents again makes me see where I got it – and this year I wanted to change that. Guess what? That is something I am in direct control of.

While you cannot control everything, there is always something you can control in any situation. I cannot control the fact that my ex-wife had an affair; what I can control is how I let it affect me. I can feel the anxiety and emotions, however, I can instead put that energy into what I can do to bounce back from it.

“Remember: You don’t control what happens, you control how you respond.” – Ryan Holiday

Being selfish

Being selfish was alwas surrounded with a negative connotation in my life, however, I truly believe that if you are not putting yourself first you are doing yourself a disservice.

There are, of course, circumstances where you cannot; caring for a sick loved one, caring for a newborn, etc. But you cannot assume anyone else will put you first, so you ought to ensure you do it for you.

This is something I’ve really been trying to do and havce both succeeded and failed this year. There are a few friends who know I bit off more than I could chew at times as I did not say “no” enough this year. These are all lessons I am continuing to learn and boundaries I am learning to set.

How it ended

I’m closing out this year with my head held high and excited for 2025. In an almost poetic manner, I attended another tech conference in the beginning of December; the Commit Your Code Conference (CYC Conference) which took place in Plano, TX (outside of Dallas).

These conferences that book-ended my year were very similar in vibes but very different in personal execution.

I went into THAT Conference knowing about 3 – 5 people in the community. I went into the CYC Conference knowing hundreds.

I went into THAT Conference feeling alone. I went into the CYC Conference feeling more connected than ever.

However, I came out of both feeling energized, excited, and thankful.

At the CYC Conference I had the opportunity to meet legends such as Leon and Quincy Larson, as well as my Dallas Software Developers cohort lead, Yoon! I had people coming up to me recognizing who I was from the community. It was a humbling experience to say the least and I am so thankful to the team that pulled it off: Danny Thompson, Braydon Coyer, Devyn Coyer, Dennis Garcia, and Erik Anderson.

I don’t say this all to brag, but to point out how one catalyst turned a year I wanted to forget into a year I could never forget.

If you want to connect, here is where you can find me:

*I aim to start streaming weekly again in 2025 because I miss it.

Photo dump

Here’s a quick photo dump from some things I did this year

THAT Conference • January 2024

Attending an IMSA Race at Watkins Glen • June 2024

Met a few friends (middle row) from an online racing league I helped form.

I also got to spend some extra time with my best friend of ~26 years, Anthony, his wife Kat, and their son (my nephew), Vincent. On the right is my twin brother, Wally.