Why I Haven’t Blogged in Years (and How I’m Overcoming the Fear)

It’s been over three years since I last wrote on my engineering blog. Three years of growth, new experiences, and lessons learned, but also three years of silence. Not because I had nothing to say but because every time I thought about writing, an invisible wall of anxiety and self-doubt stopped me.

I’ve grown greatly as an engineer. Tackling big projects, learning new technologies, and advancing in my career, but putting those learnings into words? That felt terrifying. I want to share why I’ve been so reluctant to write, in the hope that being open about it will resonate with others who face the same hesitations. This is a raw look at the mix of imposter syndrome, fear of failure, and perfectionism that held me back, and how I’m finally learning to move past these blocks. By reflecting on this struggle and the psychology behind it, I hope to reclaim my voice and help you do the same if you’ve felt similarly stuck.

Imposter Syndrome: The Voice That Says “You’re Not Enough”

Impostor syndrome — doubting your abilities to the point where you feel like a fraud — has been my constant companion whenever I considered blogging. Despite my accomplishments, I’d hear a nagging voice: “What right do I have to write about this? Surely everyone else knows this stuff. Someone more qualified should be doing this, not me.”

I’m not alone in this feeling. In fact, 88% of developers said they’ve experienced imposter syndrome, including many with 10+ years of experience. Psychologists define imposter syndrome as an internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud” despite evidence of your success. It often leads you to attribute your achievements to luck or others, and to downplay your expertise.

The irony is that I was robbing myself of the chance to contribute by giving in to these thoughts. I’ve learned that almost everyone who creates something faces this imposter voice at some point. Realizing how common these feelings are has been a crucial first step in stopping believing my imposter’s voice.

Fear of Failure and Judgment: When Sharing Feels Risky

Closely tied to imposter syndrome was a fear of failure and being judged. Hitting “Publish” on a blog post felt like standing on a stage in a spotlight, inviting the world to critique me. What if I explained something wrong and got called out? What if my ideas were dismissed or ridiculed?

The fear of negative feedback or public mistakes can be paralyzing. Psychologically, this is rooted in a very normal desire to be accepted and competent. We dread doing something that might make others lose respect for us.

I felt this as a fear of visibility: I couldn’t hide my imperfections if I put my thoughts out there. Over time, I’ve learned that most readers are not sitting there waiting to pounce on my mistakes. Many are probably appreciative of finding honest, human voices. And those who would judge harshly? They’re often not in the arena themselves.

The Perfectionism Trap: Waiting for the “Perfect” Post

Perhaps the most sneaky barrier of all has been perfectionism. I convinced myself that if I was going to write at all, it had to be flawless. In theory, having high standards sounds like a good thing. In reality, my perfectionism became a clever form of procrastination.

I would start drafts and then abandon them because they weren’t turning out as comprehensive or insightful as I imagined. I’d endlessly tweak wording, research extra details, or plan huge multi-part tutorials that I never finished. I was waiting for the perfect idea, the perfect mood, the perfect phrasing and as a result, I posted nothing at all.

Over time I learned an important truth: perfectionism is often a fear of failure in disguise. I’ve started to break this trap by embracing the mantra “done is better than perfect.”

Realizing I’m Not Alone (and Neither Are You)

For a long time, I thought my reluctance to write was a personal quirk or weakness. But I’ve since learned these feelings are extremely common, especially in the tech community. Knowing this has made a huge difference.

Hearing others open up about their fears has been inspiring and instructive for me. One developer wrote candidly: “I rarely blog about technical topics… The prospect has always scared me,” listing thoughts like “major case of Imposter Syndrome” and “What if I’m wrong?!” Her solution was to confront those fears by setting a modest goal (one blog post a month) and adopting a growth mindset.

That reframed writing from a performance to an act of service. Similarly, another engineer admitted he didn’t feel “qualified” to write tutorials until he realized that teaching others also reinforced his own knowledge — the fastest way to learn is in public. These insights started chipping away at the pedestal I’d put writing on.

It doesn’t have to be perfect or completely original; it just has to be useful or authentic.

How I’m Starting to Write Again: Mindset Shifts

Identifying these mental blocks is important, but the real question is: how do we move past them? Here are a few shifts that have helped me:

• Embrace continuous learning: You don’t need to be an expert. Share what you’re learning as you go.
• Remember the value of your perspective: Your unique experience matters and your way of explaining something might help someone else.
• Shift from performance to service: Focus on helping just one person.
• Accept imperfection as the price of growth: “B+” work shared is more impactful than “A+” work never published.

Strategies for Consistent, Fearless Writing

Some practical tips that I’ve started using:

• Start small: Set a manageable writing cadence (e.g., one short monthly post).
• Keep an idea list: Capture even the smallest insights or bugs you solved.
• Time-box writing: Separate drafting from editing to reduce overthinking.
• Use templates or frameworks: Scaffolding makes writing easier.
• Share drafts with friends: Safe feedback helps you feel supported.
• Celebrate small wins: Reward yourself for hitting “Publish.”
• Reconnect with your “why” regularly: Remember why you wanted to share in the first place.

Conclusion: From Self-Doubt to Sharing

Writing this post is my way of breaking a 3 years-long silence. By understanding the psychology behind my imposter syndrome, fear of failure, and perfectionism, I’ve begun to take away their power.

No, I haven’t vanquished my self-doubt completely, and maybe I never will, but I’m learning to act despite it. Each new post I share is a step toward reclaiming my confidence and authentic voice.

If you’ve struggled with similar blocks, know you’re not alone. Your insights have value. The community benefits when more real, diverse voices contribute. I’m finally adding mine, and I hope you’ll add yours too.

After all, the second best time to start writing is right now.